Questions Answered

 Not that you actually asked any questions, but I like to hope that other people might be as nosy as I am...

 

How far along are you? When are you due? 

I am fourteen weeks along and I'm due on October 24th. 

How far apart will Claire and her little sibling be?

They will be nineteen months apart, but two grades apart in school.

How did you know you were ready to try again?

Well, as Catholics, we are big fans of babies. We believe that pregnancy should only be avoided based on serious reasons related to your mental, physical, and financial health. Because of the complications with Claire's birth, we waited until our obstetrician gave us the okay to try again. Normally, doctors recommend waiting at least eighteen months after a c-section, but since we are kind of really young parents, our obstetrician didn't think it was necessary to stick to that exactly.

We always just sort of hoped Claire would have a sibling when she was about two. My parents live in China now and my brother is still in high school over there, so they can only visit the states all together during school breaks at Christmas and in the summer. We really hoped that Claire's sibling would join us a little before Christmas so that my family could meet him or her while they'll still small and squishy.

Wasn't NFP super confusing after having a baby?

Oh, yes! When you can't rely on regular cycles anymore, things get kind of tricky. We switched from the Creighton Method to the Marquette Method and found it to be really, really helpful. 

How did you find out and when did you tell Adam? 

Because of the whole confusing NFP thing, I found myself taking a lot of pregnancy tests in the past year {mostly because I wasn't patient enough to wait things out}. Pregnancy tests get really expensive! I promised myself that this month I would wait an extra long time and not just throw money down the drain, but then I realized the earliest day we could potentially find out was Valentine's Day and that would be pretty special, so we decided to make an exception.

The only time I've seen people I know at the grocery store here was when I ran in just to buy a pregnancy test. I woke up on Valentine's Day, took the test, found out it was positive, and then realized it was actually two in the morning. But that didn't stop me from waking Adam up to tell him right away!

Will you have to have another c-section?

Not necessarily. Although I will be monitored closely, the complications with Claire's birth are not likely to repeat themselves, so as of right now I am a good candidate for a VBAC. A lot could change in the coming months, though, and I am trying not to get my hopes up. With a VBAC, you just don't know if it's going to happen until it does.

All throughout the past year I worried about only being able to have c-sections, mainly because it would limit the number of kids we could have. Not that we've ever put a number out there, but when you have your first child at 22, it's easy to feel optimistic about the possibilities in your remaining twenty childbearing years. Since seeing that positive pregnancy test, those thoughts have not crossed my mind once.

I am only concerned about keeping this child healthy and safe. Fertility is a gift. The two lives that God has entrusted to us are tremendous blessings. We just can't think further than that right now.

How was the first trimester?

It wasn't fun, let me tell you. But since it isn't fun for almost everyone, I won't dwell on it. I'm so grateful to Adam, who did the best job picking up the slack around here. I'm very happy to be in the second trimester now with my energy and appetite mostly back.

We found out about this pregnancy one day into Lent but I decided to stick with my previously chosen penance anyway. Giving up meat and dessert during the first trimester was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Definitely one of the dumbest. I stuck to it, for the most part, and survived. But if I could go back in time and beg my stubborn self to choose something else, I most certainly would.

Are you planning to find out the gender this time?

Yes! It was really, really hard to wait with Claire and, honestly, the big reveal when she arrived was the worst surprise of my life. There was no "It's a girl!" exclamation, just deafening silence. The doctors were too busy, you know, saving her life. In the commotion beforehand, no one thought to ask us if we knew the gender and we didn't think to tell them either. We finally found out when the nurse anesthetist came over to check on my epidural. Adam asked what the gender was and the nurse said "Oh, you didn't know? Girl." Talk about anti-climatic. After that experience, I don't think we'll ever wait it out again.

Are you doing that weekly photo project again?

I am! I changed up a few things though. Last time, I decided to wear a different outfit for each trimester. Not really sure why? But now it's just whatever I've got on that day. I'm also looking straight ahead instead of at the camera. I think the progression will look a lot more consistent that way? These things never turn out quite like I hope, but I'm always really glad to have them.

Are you freaking out about parenting two kids under two?

Honestly, not really. I know that taking care of twice the amount of kids is going to be a huge adjustment, no matter when it happens. It seems like every age difference has it's pros and cons. I feel like parenting is all about managing your expectations? The first trimester definitely gave me some practice in setting the bar pretty darn low.

I know our two-bedroom apartment is going to feel really crowded. If we won the lottery, we'd start house-hunting right away. But that's not the case and in the grand scheme of things, we're really blessed to have eight hundred square feet for just for the four of us. We are open to moving into a rental house this summer, but we can't spend much more on rent and we can't buy another car, so it needs to be close to public transportation for Adam to get to work. Needless to say, we're not getting our hopes up. If it doesn't work out this summer, we'll stay here for another year {which is totally fine, we have plenty of space and we really like the location} and try again next summer.

My friend Lindsey Jo said something once that really struck a chord with me. My job is to be a stay-at-home mom. I am not a chef, a cleaning lady, or a laundress. All those things are part of my job description, but my main goal is to make sure our two babies have everything they need. And you know what? I am all they need.

At least until Daddy gets home. Then I might think about doing some laundry.