He's Here!

George Warren
Born Saturday, November 11th at 6:00 a.m.
8 pounds, 6 ounces and 20.5 inches long



George was due on Sunday, November 5th. After Betsy's successful VBAC, I thought George would probably also be late, although of course I was hoping he arrive a bit sooner! It was actually pretty fun to have another weekend before welcoming a new baby. I went to the movies twice, with my mom and with Adam. My mom and I got pedicures and Adam and I went on a grocery shopping and coffee date.

By Monday I was starting to feel antsy. This time around, I resolved not to stress myself out by trying a million natural induction methods. I limited myself to one per day. On Monday, I raked all the leaves in the front yard, which involved lots of squats. On Tuesday, I went to prenatal yoga. On Wednesday, Adam came with me to my OB appointment. After the doctor informed me that nothing had changed from the previous week and swept my membranes again, we walked up all 18 flights of stairs at the hospital.

On Thursday, I woke up with contractions every 10-15 minutes apart. We went on a long walk around the neighborhood, during which I spent most of the time walking with one foot on the curb and one on the street. Apparently this can help baby settle into a good position. The contractions continued at the same pace all day Friday, except my calves were super sore from all the curb walking. By Friday evening, I decided to bring out the big guns and try one of the few natural induction methods I hadn't done before - using the breast pump to stimulate things and hopefully bring contractions closer together. I read online to do fifteen minutes on one side, fifteen minutes on the other, take a ten minute break, and repeat for about three hours.

So, we rented Wonder Woman, which was a pretty funny female empowerment movie to watch right before giving birth, and got started around 9:00 pm. Contractions quickly moved to three or four minutes apart. I only made it about ninety minutes before pumping got too painful. We decided to finish the movie and see if contractions kept up at the same pace. Thankfully, they did, and we headed to the hospital around midnight. I've read lots of blog posts about what to pack in your hospital bag. By our fourth baby, we are extremely minimalist. We just brought our camera!

We arrived in triage around 12:30. I was dilated to a four and 50% effaced. Once I was moved to a delivery room, a resident came to have me sign consent forms for a trial of labor and a c-section, should it be necessary. An anesthesiologist came to talk about epidurals. The nurse placed an IV and fetal heart monitors, which are kind of annoying but necessary for a VBAC. Finally, we were left alone. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to get an epidural first or have my water broken first.

I was worried about getting the epidural too early and things slowing down, because you can't receive any Pitocin with a VBAC. Since I came in just dilated to a four, I thought I should wait until I was further along. But, it was also the middle of the night and I was exhausted, so getting the epidural first ultimately won out. I am very, very glad it did. The epidural was placed at 3:00 am and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before the anesthesiologist even left the room.

When the doctors came into break my water at 4:30, I was "complete with a lip." By the time they came in again at 5:30, I was definitely feeling a lot of pressure. Everyone assured me George was so low I'd just need to push through one contraction and he'd slip right out, which wasn't exactly the case. I'm not quite that efficient! But twenty minutes later, at 6:00 am exactly, he was here. I was so happy to finally meet him, so relieved pregnancy was over at last, and honestly just in awe that his delivery had worked out how I'd hoped. It almost felt more surreal than my first VBAC with Betsy. I mean, anything can happen once, but for things to go smoothly twice? We are very thankful to have a great hospital nearby that is so supportive of VBACs after two c-sections.



After a couple hours, we moved to a room on the postpartum floor, where we napped for a couple more hours and then Adam went home to get Grandma and George's big sisters. They were all very excited to meet him, even Betsy. She is about the same age as Claire when Maggie was born. Claire didn't really seem interested in her new sibling at first, but Betsy is so much more verbal and, as the third child, so much more aware of the world. Of course, she eventually lost interest and found every button to press in the hospital room.



We've had our children in three different hospitals thus far and every time we've been frustrated with how vague they are about discharge procedures. There was a sign in my room that said discharge would be at noon, but to let your nurse know if you'd like to leave earlier. Right away, we told the nurse we'd like to go home as soon as possible. Guess how early we got to leave? At 11:30. But since last Sunday afternoon, we've been enjoying having George at home. And Adam too, because he'll be off on paternity leave until the new year. The real hero of this story is my mom, who has been so amazing over the past few weeks that she deserves her own post!

His Name

Well, before I share that, let's back up to the day of our twenty-week ultrasound. My dear friend Michelle offered to watch the girls so that Adam and I could both go to the appointment. Then, since our appointment was at 2:30 in the afternoon, she kindly invited us all to stay for dinner. We agreed, as long as she would let us pick up Chick-fil-A for everyone on the way back! Claire and Maggie remembered how we ordered a little gender reveal cake from a bakery back when I was expecting Betsy and wanted to find out the gender of their newest sibling the same way. But since we wanted to do the gender reveal that night with Michelle's family, we didn't have time to order from a bakery. Instead, Claire and Maggie helped me bake two little cakes the day before - one with pink batter, one with blue. We used the Smitten Kitchen "best birthday cake" recipe, which worked perfectly for two six-inch layer cakes. When I frosted the cakes that evening, I put extra sprinkles in the middle of one cake so I could tell them apart. Extra sprinkles = extra exciting = boy! The pink and blue food coloring in the batter faded so much once they were cooked. Next time I need to add way, way more food coloring or do a layer of colored icing in between cake layers instead. Thankfully you could still barely tell what we were going for.  

 

Here we are cutting into the cake after dinner! Michelle was so sweet and bought some decorations, like napkins and balloons, to make things even more festive. That's her daughter, Theresa (she's Maggie's age) asking for a little brother too in the video.

Adam and I spent that afternoon discussing baby boy names and quickly agreed on using the same name we'd decided on if Betsy had been a boy. This baby's name will be...

George Warren. 

Unless the ultrasound tech was wrong, of course. He had the most hesitant way of talking, ending almost every sentence as if it was a question. Not a great quality for an ultrasound tech! But we triple-checked with him, so I guess this is as confident as we can be for now. 

We like our kids' first names to be after their patron saint and their middle name to be after a relative. We've got Claire Camille (St. Clare of Assisi), Margaret Joyce (St. Margaret of Scotland) and Beatrice Jacqueline (St. Beatrice of Portugal).


Warren and his wife, Camille.

So far, we've used our grandparents' names for middle names. (I hope we get to use the last grandmother's name one day!) Warren is Adam's paternal grandfather. Adam is actually named for him too - Warren is his middle name as well. That's why we decided to use his name first, especially since we've already used my middle name (Margaret). He passed away shortly after Maggie was born, so right around George's due date four years ago.

Adam's the little boy in the wagon! 

All of our kids' first names also get bonus points for being family names. Claire is the name of my childhood neighbor/honorary grandmother. As I just mentioned, Margaret is my middle name. And Beatrice is one of my great-aunts. George is one of Adam's great-uncles. Warren's oldest brother, in fact. He was actually a very renowned cardiologist - there's a pretty lengthy article about him on Wikipedia. 

 
Claire got to meet him twice, the last time when she was about Betsy's age. 

We wanted a name to kind of balance out Claire, because Maggie and Betsy have similar styles going on their longer first names and both always going by a nickname with an 'ie/y' ending. We wanted a name with a different ending and with no nickname. 

Claire and Maggie remembered the name George from Betsy's pregnancy and were eager to use it for their baby brother. They love reading the story of St. George and the Dragon. Our paperback copy is in tatters, we've read it so many times! George will have to get a nice new hardcover edition for his first Christmas.

 

St. George icon found here.

 St. George is the most ancient saint we've chosen as a patron thus far. We have this very unrealistic pipe dream of somehow taking our children to visit the shrines of their patron saints one day, so we had to check that there's a shrine somewhere where one can pray with St. George's remains. (Like St. Clare's Basilica in Assisi, Italy, St. Margaret's castle in Edinburgh, Scotland, and St. Beatrice's convent in Toledo, Spain.) Well, turns out St. George is buried in a Greek Orthodox church in a suburb of Tel Aviv, Israel.

 
Photo of Frassati found here. Great article too!

  Of course, we also really love Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati and hope that he is officially canonized a saint one day. When we finalized the name George, I immediately ordered this print (of Frassati's motto, "To the Heights") for the nursery. Basically, I've been having way too much fun ordering a couple new things for the nursery, along with some baby boy clothes. I definitely need to restrain myself!

Pregnancy Q&A

Because I like to think everyone is as nosy as I am!


Eight Week Ultrasound.

How far along are you? When are you due?

I'm twenty-one weeks along and due on November 5th.

How far apart in age will this little one be from your other girls?

Betsy and this baby will be twenty-one months apart. Maggie will have just turned four (her birthday is two weeks before my due date). Betsy and Maggie are twenty-seven months apart. Claire will be five years and eight months old. Claire and Maggie are nineteen months apart, so we've done closer in age before. They'll all be two grades apart in school.

How did you know you were ready to try again? 

We weren't! Three children has definitely been a bit overwhelming for us. Betsy really keeps us on our toes - she's always been our scream-y-est baby and she's also the most active. She was walking at ten months, can now climb onto the kitchen table, etc. Plus, it's just hard to juggle your preschooler's activities and your baby's nap schedule, all while trying to make sure your middle child gets some attention in there. I was pretty attached to the idea of making it through Claire's first year of kindergarten before having a fourth, because I thought adjusting to a school schedule would be a big enough transition for us. So, we thought about aiming to have another baby right when school ended for the summer. Waiting until first grade started the next fall sounded pretty appealing too, because summer activities are just easier without a newborn around.

Isn't NFP super confusing after having a baby?

Well, you do have to take it pretty seriously, that's for sure. We use the Marquette Method, but this time around we didn't worry about the postpartum protocol and started using the monitor when I got my cycles back. A very important rule is that for your first three months using the monitor, you can't trust anything it says because it's just learning your cycle. You have to be extra, extra conservative. There was one time that we decided to put our faith in the monitor when we really shouldn't have yet. And one time can be all it takes to create a new person you have to take care of forever. 

When did you find out? 

It was our last snow day of the year at the end of February. I woke up feeling like I should take a pregnancy test - Adam was convinced otherwise. He stayed home in the morning because of all the snow, but it had cleared up enough to drive to work in the afternoon. After I got Betsy down for a nap I took the test and texted him a picture of the results. So, we're trying to talk on the phone about this life-changing news while Claire and Maggie keep loudly interrupting me because I'd promised to watch the live action Cinderella movie with them. A quite accurate snapshot of our life with all these little kids! Later the evening, we got Claire's acceptance letter to the parish school. Coincidence?

Twelve Week Ultrasound.

Did it take you guys a while to process to the news? 

No, not really. Honestly, my first thought was about some trips we had tentatively discussed for next spring. My sister will be returning from her missionary work in Honduras in December. She and I had talked quite a bit about going on a girls' trip to New York. Adam and I also thought she might be amenable (at least more amenable than any other relative!) to watching the girls while we jetted off to Vegas for two nights. But those trips can still happen, they'll just be delayed by a year. And if you're your greatest worry is having to postpone a couple vacations, well, that seems to be pretty much the epitome of first world problems. Children are always a blessing and we always wanted to have a fourth. My second thought was how thankful I am to have had a VBAC with Betsy, because a not-exactly-planned pregnancy after three c-sections would certainly have me worrying about health risks, even if things would most likely turn out fine. We pretty quickly transitioned to thinking, "well, maybe we can have a little more of a break after this baby." Our new goal is to both be thirty before welcoming another child (I will be 28.5 and Adam will be 27.5 when this baby arrives). 

Will you have another VBAC? 

I hope so! Because I had two c-sections before my successful VBAC with Betsy, I can't receive any Pitocin. So, if I needed to be induced for some reason or if my labor stalled (both situations in which a normal pregnant lady would likely receive Pitocin to help things along) I might be out of luck. But because I went into labor on my own with Betsy and had a pretty quick six-hour delivery, I am very hopeful everything will work out just fine. I will be delivering at the same university hospital again, but unfortunately my OB with Betsy moved away, so I have my fourth new doctor for my fourth pregnancy. At least this is my first time going back to the same hospital. I had a great experience there last time though and my new doctor seems really great too.

Will you do anything differently with this pregnancy or delivery? 

Last time, I wanted to do everything in my power to ensure a successful VBAC, so I did a lot of somewhat crazy things so I could feel like I had tried it all. I was particularly worried about going into labor on my own, because that's what held me back from having a VBAC with Maggie. I went to acupuncture, the chiropractor, and prenatal yoga. I walked two miles a day. I took all the weird supplements. All of this added a fair bit of stress to my last months of pregnancy and didn't seem to help at all. What really helped was just having more time - with Maggie my OB scheduled a c-section on my due date and wouldn't talk about any induction methods, because he thought she might have some health complications. With Betsy, my OB never scheduled a c-section. She was fine with me going past my due date and was planning to try a more natural induction first if necessary. Prenatal yoga was actually very fun and of course walking is a great thing to do all the time, but no unnecessary chiropractor and acupuncture appointments! I do want to look into the Spinning Babies exercises more though, because Betsy was posterior and the chiropractor didn't really seem to help me personally with that. In regards to the actual birth, even though I didn't end up getting an epidural placed until I was ten centimeters with Betsy, I don't have any specific goals to go naturally this time. I only had it for the last forty-five minutes, but the moment the epidural started working may have been the greatest moment of my life.  

 How was the first trimester? 

It was my roughest so far. Maybe because I'm having a different gender (see below!) or maybe because I'm more rundown. I was nursing Betsy the whole time (we quit soon after returning from Texas, when I was sixteen weeks pregnant and she was fifteen months old). I wonder if weaning her sooner would have helped. Somehow that didn't occur to me at all until after the fact. Thankfully, I am feeling much, much better now. The last few months already feel far behind me.


Twenty Week Ultrasound.

Are you planning to find out the gender this time?

Yes, we actually found out last week. It's a boy! We were quite surprised - we didn't really have a feeling either way, but of course it was much easier to picture another baby girl joining our family. We are very excited and a little nervous to be shaking things up. I've had so many thoughts running through my head: redecorating the nursery, getting to shop for boys clothes, circumcision, the more active/more physical toddler boy stereotype, hope that we can give him a brother one day, worry about raising a teenage boy (porn, the fact that it seems to be harder to raise a strong Catholic young man - based on the ratio of girls to boys at youth group and young adult events).

Are you worried about fitting everyone into your small house? 

No, not at all. We live in a twelve hundred square foot, three bedroom rental home. We love our house, it's location, and our landlords. They plan to keep this place as a long-term rental property and we plan to stay here until we've really outgrown it or until we can afford to buy a home of our own in the same location. We live in a very expensive area that is increasing in price all the time, so even though we're on track with our savings goals, the goal post just keeps moving farther away. But we really don't feel like things will be too crowded with four kids. We have six rooms in our house, so everyone could still spread out into their own space. We think six kids would be pretty much the max for this house, mostly because the dining area is not very large. For now, the plan is to put all three girls together in one bedroom (bunk beds for Claire and Maggie and a crib/toddler bed for Betsy) with the baby in the nursery. That set up could last us until Betsy is five - Claire didn't move into a twin until right before her fifth birthday.

Are you worried about transitioning to four kids? 

Well, we're certainly not expecting life to slow down anytime soon. We've heard often that once you've made it to three kids, adding another one gets relatively easier, so we're clinging to that hope. Since my sister is planning to move to Seattle once her missionary work wraps up in December, this will be our first time having family in town and I'm thinking that will be a game changer. Adam will also be on paternity leave until after Christmas - we feel extremely fortunate to have that time together.

So how many kids are you planning to have anyway?

This is the question we've really been asked most often! Adam was recounting one of his coworkers asking him that this week at dinner and Claire said, "Uh, we don't know yet!" The perfect response.

Party of Six

I was hoping to write about our trip before making this announcement, but, alas, I am just falling behind on everything these days! But for the very best reason - that we are expecting our fourth child this fall. We are very, very excited to find out the gender in a couple weeks. On that front, Kate from Sancta Nomina generously did another baby name consultation for us. Please head over to read all of her fantastic suggestions and chime in with your own!

Betsy's Forty Weeks Photo Project

Betsy's forty week collage is complete! The first pregnancy I actually made it to forty weeks with no complications. Definitely giving myself a pat on the back for keeping this up through three children. It's pretty easy - just snap a quick picture on the day of the week your baby grows another week older. We took all these at night after the girls went to bed in front of the door to the garage in the playroom. The hardest part is remembering to wear a different outfit from one week to the next; something I slipped up on for weeks eleven and twelve. 

As much as I love my maternity wardrobe, I'm so excited to pack it up this week and get out my regular clothes. I mostly wear leggings and cotton dresses, so everything should be stretchy enough to fit again. I haven't bought any new clothes since week twenty of pregnancy and, oh man, I am itching to do some shopping! Luckily all these nursing sessions led themselves pretty well to online shopping on my phone. I just ordered this dress from ModCloth, this dress from Land's End and this dress from Boden. 

Just a couple more weeks until we embark on another twelve month photo project. That one's a little more time intensive, but I sure do love the results! You can find Claire and Maggie's respective photo projects right here. 

She's Here!

On my due date, Monday, February 1st, I had a prenatal appointment in the morning. She swept my membranes and told me I was dilated to a one and 75% effaced. I went to the chiropractor and acupuncture that afternoon. I felt my first contractions on the drive home! I had never made it to my due date or felt a contraction in my previous pregnancies, so it was an exciting day of firsts. The contractions continued every 8-10 minutes the rest of the evening and all day Tuesday.

On Tuesday evening, they were consistently 6 minutes apart and kept me up all night, so we went into the hospital around 4:00 am. Of course, they slowed back down to every 10 minutes as soon as we got there. At least I was now dilated to a two and 80% effaced. Contractions continued at the same pace on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but grew increasingly painful. My lower back just felt like it was burning each time.

 By Saturday morning, I was so exhausted and felt like my spirit was being crushed by each painful contraction that seemed like they would never get close enough together to actually put me in labor. We took Claire and Maggie to their first dance and gymnastics class, which improved my mood considerably, and decided to go to the hospital again after lunch. My doula had suggested they might give me a sleeping pill so I could at least rest.

When they checked me, I was dilated to a four and 90% effaced, so they asked if we could walk around for two hours and come back. So, we spent two hours wandering around, climbing stairs sideways and doing squats. It was so nice to have a couple hours to concentrate on contractions with Adam around, but with no little kids! I relaxed immediately. When we went back to triage, I was still four centimeters, but completely effaced. They said they couldn't give me a sleeping pill because I was so close to active labor and they didn't want me sleeping through it!

Our options were to come home, with the promise that things were getting closer and we'd most likely be back soon, or to stay and have them break my water. They said they wouldn't suggest it if they didn't think it would work, but that I couldn't have any pitocin to help things along because it increases the risk of uterine rupture in VBACs. Man, this was a hard decision! Ultimately we agreed that five days of early labor was more than enough and asked to have my water broken.

We checked into a delivery room at 5:30 pm. The nurse had me change into a gown and started a hep lock in case I needed an IV later on. The on-call OB introduced herself and had me sign some consent forms. An anesthesiologist came by to talk about the epidural procedure so we'd be all ready to go if I wanted one. The OB did an ultrasound to confirm Betsy was head down and we discovered that she was posterior, which explained why my back was hurting so much! Our doula arrived at some point and had me try some different positions to get Betsy to turn around. Before we knew it, three hours had passed.

The doctor checked me at 8:30 and I was dilated to a six, although contractions still hadn't really moved closer together. We decided to hold off on breaking my water, the only trick in the bag, as long as I kept progressing on my own. We spent the next two hours trying different positions and chatting with our doula. Nothing had changed at 10:30, so the doctor broke my water. It was actually very anti-climatic, just a tiny trickle. The doctor really wanted me to get an epidural in case I ended up needing another c-section. Part of me had wanted to labor without medication, but after several days of painful contractions, that part of me was long gone. I was so exhausted from nights of almost no sleep!

After the doctor broke my water, I asked to begin the epidural process. The nurse got a bag of fluids going in my IV. The contractions all of a sudden got much closer together. I was standing and leaning on Adam, while he and the doula reminded me to breathe. I was mostly able to breathe through them, but I definitely broke down a few times, repeatedly asking when the epidural would be ready and crying that I couldn't do this anymore. I don't think I've ever been as happy to see anyone as I was to see the anesthesiologist walk in the room.

By 11:30 the epidural was in place and I was extolling the virtues of modern medicine. The OB came into check me again right afterwards and said that I was at a ten! Turns out I had been in transition for the last hour. The contractions never really gained in intensity from what I had been feeling the last several days, just finally grew closer together. I was glad that I wasn't a huge wimp after all. They let me rest and "labor down" for the next hour. It was such a weird feeling, knowing we were about to meet our baby. Except I was worried it would still be a long time yet, since the last we heard Betsy was posterior. I was imagining a four-hour pushing session and knew that even though we had made it this far, it was still possible to end up with another c-section.

They got the room all set up, we got started at 12:30 am, and she was out by 1:15. At some point, Betsy had flipped around into the normal position (eyes facing my back, instead of my front). I had built up pushing in my mind as the hardest part of labor, but thankfully that wasn't the case, especially because it's the only part I had that blessed epidural for! I was thrilled to be the first person to hold my baby. Adam and I couldn't stop saying how we couldn't believe that everything had actually worked out, especially that day. It was the most surreal experience of our life thus far.

But, y'all, I feel like my friends had all told me that I wouldn't even notice the whole after birth experience (delivering the placenta and getting stitched up). I would just like to go on record stating that I definitely noticed and was very glad when everyone was done poking around down there. After a couple hours, we were moved to a postpartum room on the floor below and finally got some sleep.

Adam picked up my mom, Claire, and Maggie in the morning and took them to meet Betsy. They were so sweet with their new little sister! He came back for a few hours in the afternoon, but mostly complained about being tired and not feeling well. My thoughts were, "Uh, yeah, same here." But when he went home again to help put the girls to bed, he came down with the worst stomach bug of his life! He actually called our friend, Steven (Betsy's godfather), to take him to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Steven also picked me and Betsy up from the hospital when we got discharged Monday morning.

Not really how I expected my hospital stay to go, but luckily I'm pretty good at taking care of newborns by now, especially when I don't have to recover from a c-section and can walk around on my own afterward. My mom was wonderful with the girls, of course, and Adam was back to normal by Tuesday. As far as c-section recovery versus that of a regular delivery, besides the immediate obvious advantages of the first couple days (aka being able to walk on your own), I think recovering from a vaginal delivery with just Tylenol is about the equivalent of recovering from abdominal surgery on Percocet. But I felt back to normal after my c-sections in about two weeks, while I know others have a tougher time.

The biggest reason I am so happy to have a VBAC is just to have all the childbearing possibilities of a normal 26-year-old woman. At least for now, because only God knows what the future holds, I don't have to worry about endangering my life or that of my child if we were to have a not-completely-planned pregnancy. And it seems like the odds of that are pretty good when using NFP. Just to have a future full of possibilities makes me feel like all my dreams have come true!

I am so thankful to all the doctors and nurses at the University of Washington for making it possible. Everyone was really supportive and wanted to see me succeed. My doctor at the community hospital where Maggie was born seemed to have the attitude of, "Sure, if the stars align perfectly you might end up with a VBAC." The only reason I even knew we could try for another VBAC is because Adam's cousin is an OB. He told us they were safer than getting a third c-section and that UW would be a good place to go for one. Except for a few things, like not allowing pitocin and encouraging an epidural, I feel like the doctors there were on my team and treated me like everyone else.

I just feel so grateful right now - for three healthy daughters, for living near a great research hospital, for a successful VBAC, for a mother who generously came to take care of us for three weeks, and for a husband who doesn't have to go back to work full-time for ten weeks. Life is wonderful.

Thirty-Six Weeks

Just about a month left of this pregnancy! Everything's going well, I'm still feeling mostly fine (although very, very large) and I think I've gained enough weight to avoid an extra ultrasound. Weekly check-ups start on Monday with the Strep B test and a quick check to make sure Betsy's head down. 

I've been going to prenatal yoga, acupuncture, and the chiropractor once a week since the beginning of December. Now I've added the probably completely ineffective evening primrose oil and raspberry leaf tea. I'd read a study that found eating six dates a day from 36 weeks was supposed to be helpful, but, you guys, I just can't eat dates without gagging. I tried them plain first, then in a smoothie, then in oatmeal and all options were terrible. Oh, well, I gave it my best shot. 

Of course, I'm also trying to get in lots of walking, which is kind of tricky in the winter when the sun sets at 4:30 pm. After a couple days of unsuccessful attempts to fit a walk with the girls into our schedule during the daylight, I decided to join the nearest gym. Totally worth the $50 monthly membership fee to have somewhere to walk in the evenings while watching HGTV.

And as I'm typing this, someone is cleaning my bathrooms! This is the first time I've ever hired a cleaning service and it feels so luxurious.

We've been making lots of progress on our "before baby" to-do list and feel really good about where we're at...

- We decluttered the garage and every room in the house.

- We got the van detailed, moved Claire to the back row, and set up the infant car seat.

- We bought a bassinet for our room and a ride board for the double stroller. The bouncy seat and baby carrier are all ready to go.

- We washed all the infant clothing, blankets, and burp cloths. It's all stored in the previously empty guest room dresser, along with plenty of newborn diapers and nursing pads.

- We wrote a packing list for the hospital and got as much as we could packed ahead of time (Betsy's going-home outfit, toiletries, snacks, etc).

- Thanks to Christmas money from our parents, we were able to get a glider for the playroom. And thanks to gift cards from our siblings and points from our Amazon credit card, we were able to buy a new bookshelf for the playroom as well. We'd been saving for a new dining set for several years too, so lots of exciting house changes recently. Pictures coming next week!

- I've got invitations and favors for Claire's birthday party. I ordered the cutest saint doll for Betsy's baptism present and we've got the baptism class at church this weekend.

- Next weekend, we've got a date night planned and I made an appointment for a hair cut and pedicure. Hooray!

So we're chugging along! My biggest project left on the list is making our 2015 family photo book, which is basically my idea of a good time.

I am so, so, so ready for Betsy's arrival. Not just because I'd loved to sleep comfortably again (even if it's very interrupted sleep) but because I'm beyond ready to know what's going to happen. Her birth and whether it will be a c-section or a successful VBAC has been something we've been thinking about since Maggie arrived over two years ago. The suspense is killing me!

Peace

 
{Me and Baby Claire. Looking at the pictures from her NICU stay still makes me cry.}

What we've been praying the most for this pregnancy (besides a healthy delivery, of course) is a peaceful acceptance of God's plan. You see, this third pregnancy is a crossroads for our family. 

If I have a third c-section, I will have c-sections from this point forward. And, really, only a couple more. My doctor hasn't seen anybody through more than five. At that point it starts to get quite risky with things like placenta previa, placenta accreta, uterine rupture, etc. I've been in a scary emergency birth situation before and I would absolutely like to avoid experiencing that ever again.

If I have a successful VBAC, I will be on the vaginal birth track from here on out. Of course, only God knows what the future holds, but given that I'm only twenty-six, it's possible that we could have A LOT more children. 

As the weeks have passed and we're getting closer to Betsy's arrival, we really have felt a great sense of peace about her delivery. We've realized that either of those options have their pros and cons. With a smaller family than we'd originally imagined when we got married at twenty-one, we'd certainly have more time and money to go around. With a larger family, well, we wouldn't have to use NFP to avoid pregnancy for upwards of a decade. And why wouldn't we want to welcome more love into our lives? 

We've also realized exactly how blessed we are. When Claire was born a month early via emergency c-section due to a placental abruption, many people told us how we should be happy to have a healthy mother and baby. But mostly I just felt sad that things had turned out so differently from what I'd expected. 

And it's absolutely normal and okay to feel sad about having a c-section. Over the last four years, however, I've met so many people who didn't come out of a traumatic experience with a happy ending. I've met families whose mother or baby did pass away. Parents who are both carriers for a genetic disorder that was passed onto their child, with a very sad ending. Mothers with illnesses that make pregnancy really, really scary. Deliveries that went so wrong the mother ended up with a hysterectomy after her first child.

It's entirely possible that Claire and I both could have died and left Adam a widow before he graduated from college. It's taken me a while to fully process it, but lately I have been feeling so thankful to be alive. So thankful that my daughter is alive, that we've had another little girl, and that we've been given the chance to do it all over again. 

I still fully intend to do everything in my power to avoid another c-section, but if that's how things work out, I really feel at peace with that outcome. Definitely not a place I would have imagined myself in eight months ago! 

Thirty-Two Weeks

Another month has flown by! At my last appointment, my doctor was concerned that I had actually lost weight and said if I didn't gain by the next visit we'd have to do another ultrasound. I've gained ten pounds so far, which is really not worrying me at all. I'm not exactly thin to begin with and by my third pregnancy, I think a pattern has been established - I don't gain the average amount but my babies are perfectly average sized. Even a month early, Claire weighed six pounds and Maggie was just over eight, despite the misdiagnosis of IUGR. 

I'd rather avoid another ultrasound if possible because that's what got us into the whole IUGR mess with my previous pregnancy. I've been eating healthily and having a snack of hot chocolate with shortbread every night, so I've been doing my part. I wore a dress and leggings to my last appointment. On Monday I'll wear my heaviest clothing just to be on the safe side - pants, shirt, cardigan, scarf, maybe two pairs of socks...

We interviewed three doulas last week - two recommended from friends and one we met at the VBAC class we attended back in September. They all seemed really nice and had lots of experience with VBACs. We went with the one we met at the class because we felt the most comfortable with her. Everyone we know who's worked with a doula had nothing but good things to say and you can use your HSA to pay the fee, so we figured it was worth a shot. 

I also saw an acupuncturist and chiropractor and started going to prenatal yoga last week. My doctor is the one who recommended acupuncture. Apparently studies show it helps induce labor and women who've done it have shorter labors? Basically, the acupuncturist sticks tiny needles in you (mostly in your ears and feet) and then has you lay on her comfy table (her office looks like a treatment room at a spa) and nap for twenty minutes. I'm a member of the Seattle chapter of ICAN and practically everyone who's had a successful VBAC recommended a chiropractor and yoga. The chiropractor really just seems to pop your back, but yoga has been very enjoyable. Again, our health insurance covers everything, so why not? 

 In between all these appointments, we've been making progress on our "before baby" to-do list: 

We finished two big projects - a new family altar and some toy cubbies for the living room (pictures coming next week!) 

We hired a cleaning service to come once a week for January and February. We'll see what we need at that point, but we're definitely open to keeping it in some fashion through the spring and summer. 

We signed up for a hospital tour, got a newborn photo session on the books and scheduled Betsy's baptism. 

We registered Claire and Maggie for gymnastics in the spring. We'll replace Claire's Wednesday cooking class with this on Saturday mornings. We figured it would be nice to have something scheduled for Adam to take the girls to on dreary Saturdays, giving me time to take a nap or catch up on chores. We did the the same thing after Maggie was born and it worked out really well. 

We also booked Claire's birthday party at an indoor playground. We realized weekday morning parties were only $120, which is almost as much as we spent on the food and decorations for Maggie's simple party at home. We still want Claire to have a special birthday and this way we won't have to host a bunch of preschoolers in our home with a newborn. 

Of course, we've also been busy with Christmas preparations. Our house is decorated (except for the tree, which will go up on Christmas Eve), our cards are in the mail, and our presents are wrapped. 

Things are moving along! On the agenda for this weekend: cookie baking and garage decluttering.

Third Trimester + Before Baby Checklist

Wow, I can't believe I'm in the third trimester already! Everything is going really well. I'm feeling good, I still love my doctor, and I've been gaining a normal amount of weight, unlike Maggie's pregnancy. The three-week span of two trips back east, Maggie's birthday, and Halloween almost did me in though. I was just so exhausted that I started feeling dizzy and light-headed in the Atlanta airport on our way back from West Virginia. When it happened again the next morning as I was trying to unpack, Adam decided to call in sick and sent me back to bed. Thankfully, things have calmed down considerably. I don't think even Thanksgiving and Christmas will be as busy. 

One of my good friends here had her third baby a couple weeks ago and it really hit home that Betsy will be arriving before we know it. So far, I've bought the fabric for her monthly photo project, ordered a new name charm for my favorite necklace, and picked everyone's outfits for newborn/family photos. I should probably move beyond shopping and get to work! 

Delivery:

- Register at the hospital

- Take a hospital tour
- Write a packing list and pack as much as possible ahead of time
- Hire a doula, acupuncturist, and chiropractor
- Sign up for some sort of prenatal exercise class (yoga?)

- Make a list of natural labor-inducing tricks (dates, raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose pills)
- Line someone up to watch the girls just in case I go into labor before my mom arrives

Nursery:

- Wash and organize the first few sizes of infant clothing (store in guest room dresser)

- Buy newborn diapers, lanolin, nursing pads, etc
- Decorate her initial letter

Gear:
- Buy a bassinet for our room
- Buy a glider (and small side table?) for the playroom
- Buy a ride board for the double stroller

- Set up the bouncy seat

- Install the infant car seat

- Get Bjorn carrier back from a friend
- Ask for a new diaper bag for Christmas

Projects to Finish:
- Family altar
- Toy cubbies
- Window treatments for living room, kitchen, and playroom
- Buy new kitchen table and chairs
- Buy new bookshelf for the playroom
- Make our 2015 family photo book

Cleaning:  
- Declutter the house, particularly the garage
- Hire a cleaning service for January and February
- Get the van detailed  

Postpartum Events:
- Book a newborn/family photo session

- Schedule baptism at our parish and coordinate with family
- Start planning Claire's birthday party and thinking of gift ideas

Other:

- Sign the girls up for gymnastics in the spring
- Buy gifts for the siblings to exchange at the hospital 

- Order Betsy's baptism present

- Get my hair done and cut Adam's hair
- Plan a date night for January

After Betsy Arrives:

- Add her to our health insurance

- Request a copy of her birth certificate 

- Start working on passport paperwork

- Send birth announcements

- Order a personalized shadow box

Her Name

We like our kids' first names to be their patron saints and we like their middle names to be in honor of a relative.

Our first daughter is named Claire Camille after St. Clare of Assisi and Adam's paternal grandmother. Our second daughter is named Margaret Joyce after St. Margaret of Scotland and my paternal grandmother. Both first names get bonus points for being family names as well - my childhood neighbor/honorary grandmother is named Claire and Margaret is actually my middle name.

Our third daughter's name is...

Beatrice Jacqueline.

Sticking with the great-grandmother tradition, we had two names left to work with, Jacqueline (my grandma) and Shirley (Adam's grandma). Adam was pulling for the name Beatrice, which we both agreed sounded better with Jacqueline, and I was pulling for the name Alice, which we both agreed sounded better with Shirley.

We decided to go with Jacqueline first because Adam's grandma really doesn't like her name. When someone says, "Why would you name a baby after me? Shirley just isn't a pretty name" you realize maybe the other grandma would appreciate the honor a bit more.

Her patron saint will be St. Beatrice of Portugal, who left her home country to serve as one of Queen Isabel's ladies-in-waiting and eventually founded a religious order in Spain. Beatrice is also technically a family name - it's my maternal grandfather's (Jacqueline's husband's) only sister.

Beatrice is a pretty long name for a baby, but we don't love any of the traditional nicknames. We think Betsy could work though and the internet seems to agree. That's our plan for now, but we'll see what sticks when she arrives!  

It's A...

GIRL!

We ordered a gender reveal cake from a local bakery (Sweet Cakes in downtown Kirkland) and invited our friends Steven and Megan over for dinner last night. 

Allie, Adam and I wore themed clothing for the occasion. 

We also got festive beverages from Trader Joe's. We served pulled pork, sweet potato fries, and spinach salad. 

Then we had cake...

And the verdict was pink!

I wish I had got some non-blurry pictures of Claire and Maggie. They were wearing pink and blue striped shirts because they kept changing their minds about wanting a brother or a sister. But they were both ecstatic about a third sister as soon as the cake was cut. And in our biased opinion, they are the cutest little girls in the world, so how could we be anything but thrilled about a third musketeer?

Twenty Weeks

We're halfway there! This pregnancy has been really great so far. I'm lucky to have relatively minor nausea and exhaustion during the first trimester. Now that I've moved into the second, there are days when my hips feel like they're being forced apart and my heartburn has already returned a few times already - only when I have pizza or chocolate chips cookies. Why?! But now I've got the added bonus of feeling the baby move! Definitely the most exciting part of pregnancy. I didn't really start feeling kicks until week nineteen and Adam was able to feel some too last night.

Another pregnancy bonus: the perfect excuse to shop for new clothes. I haven't been pregnant in the winter since Claire, back when we were living on a college student budget. I spent the bare minimum on maternity clothes, so obviously I don't love any of them several years later. I moved into maternity clothes at week fifteen - at the beginning of August, so I could wear all my favorite summer dresses from Maggie's pregnancy. Now that it's mid-September, fall has definitely arrived in Seattle. Allie (my style guru) and I went shopping last week and came back with a winter maternity wardrobe that I'm really excited to be wearing for the next four or five months.

I've also been taking full advantage of my other favorite pregnancy perk - the freedom to eat dessert every night. I have no idea why (I'm sure it has something to do with not exactly being slim to start with) but I do not put on weight easily while pregnant. I've gained two pounds so far, despite my nightly ice cream consumption. This is actually what led to the whole mess of Maggie being mistakenly diagnosed with IUGR, which led to an unnecessary c-section. I've already had several conversations about this with my new OB though and she seems to really understand that this is just how my body works and the baby is still growing perfectly.

Last Saturday, Allie generously watched the girls all day while Adam and I went to a VBAC Your Way class. It was even better than we expected. With pregnancy complications (both imagined and very, very real) I've never made it to my due date and never been in labor. We tend to think of just actually going into labor as the biggest hurdle to having a VBAC, so it was great to have a whole day to focus on what happens next. We also spent a good portion of the class talking about the real risks of a VBAC versus a scheduled c-section because so many doctors try to worry you unnecessarily.

The class gave me the confidence to talk with my doctor about the arbitrary cut-off at 41 weeks and whether she'd consider extending it to 42 weeks if everything still looked good. Since I have no idea when my body would go into labor, that 41 week scheduled c-section (remember: inductions are risky with VBACs) made me feel quite pessimistic about my chances of success. I asked about it during my appointment yesterday and it turns out she'd be totally fine with 42 weeks, which makes me feel so, so much better about the whole thing. I really like my doctor.

We also had our big ultrasound yesterday morning. We decided to order a gender reveal cake from a local bakery because we thought it would be fun for Claire and Maggie. Dinner tonight will be extra exciting!

Pregnancy Q&A

Because I like to hope that other people are as nosy as I am!

How far along are you? When are you due?

I'm fourteen weeks along and due on February 1st.

How far apart in age will this little one be from Claire and Maggie?

 

Maggie will be two years and three months old. Claire will turn four about six weeks later. They'll all be two grades apart in school.

 

How did you know you were ready to try again? 

Since Maggie was born via c-section, we were instructed to wait eighteen months before trying to conceive again. The eighteen months mark was April 21st, which is why we timed our San Francisco vacation for the first week of May, when we knew I wouldn't be pregnant yet. Eighteen months was the longest we've had to avoid in our five years of marriage so we were more than ready to throw caution to the wind, especially because we'd also hit a pretty good groove with the girls.

 

Isn't NFP super confusing after having a baby?

Yep! And since we really needed to avoid for health reasons, we abstained completely for eight months until my cycles were back to normal. After that, we used the Marquette Method, which we've found to be really easy and work really well for us. The biggest downside people often mention for Marquette is the cost, but our HSA pays for the monitor and test sticks.

When did you find out? 

On my birthday! I turned twenty-six on May 26th. A new baby was the best golden birthday present I could have hoped for. We were originally going to wait a while to tell Claire, but we were just so happy we told her the same day. I've loved seeing her excitement for another sibling.

Will you have to have another c-section? 

 

Hopefully not. The American College of Obstetrics has ruled that VBACs after two c-sections are actually safer than having a third c-section. Unfortunately, most hospitals have not changed their policies yet. Instead of going to the suburban hospital where we had Maggie, we'll be having this baby at the university research hospital. But I like my new OB much more than the one that delivered Maggie, so I'm really happy about the change.

 

Because it's risky to induce a woman who's had previous c-sections, I'll have a c-section scheduled at 41 weeks. As long as I don't have any weird complications like my last two pregnancies and go into labor naturally before I'm a week overdue, a VBAC is a definite possibility.

What sort of complications did you have with Claire and Maggie?

 

With Claire, I had a placental abruption at 36 weeks, which meant an emergency c-section and a two-week NICU stay. With Maggie, they diagnosed her with Intrauterine Growth Syndrome and moved up my scheduled c-section to my due date. Turns out she was a perfectly healthy eight pounds though and the c-section was completely unnecessary.

Why do you care about trying for a VBAC again? 

 

Well, I would love to avoid another major abdominal surgery, for starters. I also really want to know what it's like to be in labor and to be the first person to hold my baby. Most importantly, though, I don't want my family size to be limited at age 26. It certainly wouldn't be my preference to be done having kids by age 30 and spend the next fifteen years avoiding!

Every Catholic person I've mentioned that to has brought up anecdotal evidence of someone they know who's had seven or eight c-sections. But even Pope Francis said that's a bad idea and I think I'd have to side with him on that one. I've already seen firsthand what happens when things go terribly wrong in pregnancy and I wouldn't choose to risk that again.

Obviously, if I end up with a third c-section, it will not be the end of the world. Life will go on and life will be great, although considerably less sexy. I'm so grateful that Claire and I are both alive and healthy and that I've been entrusted with two more beautiful souls.

 How was the first trimester? 

 

It wasn't great, but I really didn't have much to complain about. Adam has really flexible hours as a software developer and generously let me sleep in every morning. While my dad was on a business trip, my mom stayed with us for two weeks. She was so incredibly kind about making dinner and doing laundry. After she left, my sister came to visit and has been just as wonderful. Before I knew it, the six weeks of nausea were over and I had to get back to waking up with an alarm every morning.

Of course, by the third time around, I pretty much started showing immediately. So that's been fun.

Are you planning to find out the gender this time?

 

Yes! We kept it a surprise with Claire, which was the most anti-climatic gender reveal ever because the doctors were a little busy saving her life. We found out at twenty weeks with Maggie and really felt like we got to bond with her more, so we'll be going that route again. I can't wait to know if we'll be shaking things up with a boy or solidifying our stance as a girl family.

 

Are you worried about transitioning to three kids?

 

I've heard many parents mention two to three kids was their hardest transition, so I can't help worrying a little. I think the logistics of managing three kids out of the house will definitely be harder. I'll have to go into the backseat of the van to buckle a car seat. Not everyone will fit in the cart or the stroller anymore. I'll have more kids than hands!

But, Claire and Maggie also play really well together now and Maggie will be nine months older than Claire was when we welcomed a younger sibling. I also feel like I have a decent amount of baby knowledge at this point. I know what works well for us during the postpartum period and about how long to expect it to take for us to reach a new normal.

At the very least, I know that our babies are the cutest and that I can't wait to have another to snuggle!

 P.S. The lovely Kate of Sancta Nomina, graciously did a name consult for us, which is up on her site today. If you'd like to see what we're thinking so far and chime in with your thoughts, hop on over!

Five Years

5 years

4 minors completed

  

3 homes

2 little girls

1 baby on the way!